Chapter #3 - Cloak of Naivety

As a kid, I wore a cloak of profound and complete ignorance.  Parents spanked our butts and deciplined us when we needed it.  I believed in the "Golden Rule",  Do onto others as you would have them do onto you. In other words, treated people in the same way you want to be treated. That's what we were taught. It was a lie. I didn't know that until much, much later in my life.

I didn't know that child abuse, sexual assault or domestic violence even existed. 
In retrospect, however, I remember a friend, Becky,   that lived at the end of the block had a strange father. Strange because he stared was not very nice to me or Becky. It was a gut feeling I had so I stayed away when he was home. I remember Becky telling me about her father whipping her.  She showed me her bruises.  I told my mother about it.  To this day I never knew what happened, but it wasn't long after that that they moved. People just didn't talk about stuff like that, ever! 

Domestic Violence Defined

Domestic means "Family". 

Family is someone who you are related to by marriage or is a blood relative.

This person can be old, young, male or female.  In other words, that person can be a husband, wife, grandparent, grandchild, uncle, aunt, cousin, brother, sister, mother or father.

Violence is defined by:

Verbal abuse consists of yelling or the silent treatment. Calling someone inappropiate names, or telling someone that they not good enough.

Physical abuse can been slapping, punching open hand or closed fist.  Restraining a person from living a room, vehicle or building. Isolation is another way to control someone by keeping someone away from the people they care about the most, i.e. friends, sisters, grandparents, children or pets

more about violence later

Chapter #2 My Grandmother Said

Let's face it, for those of us who were lucky enough to have had a Mother, when she is gone, there is nothing that can replace that BIG hole in our hearts.

Norma Jean was born in 1929.  She had a twin brother, Richard, but he did not survive.  Her mother, my grandmother, once told me it was a wonder she survived, she weighed less than five pounds.  They had to put doll cloths on her. She slept in a cracker box because she was so tiny.  Grandma said "Girls always survive, they're stronger".

My mother, a scappy little red-head at 5'2" and weighed a 110 pounds soaking wet. When I say "scrappy", I mean she would stand her ground if she thought she was right...and she usually was. She was fearless..... However, there was one exception.  In the 60's we went to the San Diego Zoo.  My father, mother, brother Dan and I had a great time. The zoo had a Snake house that Dan wanted to go into.  My mother was NOT a fan of snakes so she decided to stay outside and wait for us under the shade of a nice big tree that had a three foot high rock wall around it. When we came out of the snake house, my brother walked over to her and said, "Hey, Mom, did you see all those snakes in the tree"? It goes without saying, she couldn't get outta there fast enough.

Chapter #1- Idyllic Childhood

When I was growing up in California in the 50's, I never experienced any type of violence. All of my family members seemed pretty well-adjusted.  Oh, we had those quirky relatives.  Aunt Ethel who would drink the cooking sherry at family gatherings. As a kid, I always wondered why she would take a nap while everyone else having fun.  Cousins Mike and Jim, those pesky teenagers, loved to talk about "streaking" when they would go camping or to the beach.  For those of you who don't know what STREAKING is........It's runnin' naked as a jay bird in front of other people.  Those boys loved to shock people. More about those two fellows later. Anyway, I led a rather "charmed" life as a kid.